Vanessa sat in the conservatory beside the fountain.
She had changed into a plain cream dress and tied her hair back. Without makeup, she looked younger and far more vulnerable than she had the day before.
When she saw me, she stood.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
The words were so quiet that I almost missed them.
“For what?”
“For the way everything began.”
“That’s not an answer.”
She looked toward Julian.
“I thought he loved me.”
He did not respond.
“I thought he chose me because I was carrying his children,” she continued. “I know how that sounds.”
“It sounds like you believed a pregnancy could make a man love you.”
Her eyes filled.
“I had spent my whole life believing people only kept you if you were useful.”
The confession stopped me.
Vanessa had always seemed ambitious, polished, and certain. I had mistaken control for confidence.
“I never planned to destroy your marriage,” she said.
“You moved into the center of it.”
“I know.”
“You told him not to tell me about the pregnancy.”
Her expression crumpled.
“I was afraid.”
“You were afraid of losing him.”
“Yes.”
“And I was supposed to pay the price for that fear?”
“No.”
“But I did.”
“I know.”
Julian stepped closer.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the clinic?”
Vanessa looked at him for a long time.
“Because I was afraid you would leave.”
“I would have wanted the truth.”
“Would you?” she asked. “You didn’t ask whether the boys were yours. You accepted what I told you because it gave you a way to escape the guilt of what we had done.”
He went still.
She had not said it cruelly. That made it more difficult to hear.
“You knew there was a chance they weren’t mine?”
“I knew the dates didn’t make sense.”
“And the fertility treatment?”
“I had been told I might not be able to conceive naturally. I didn’t want you to know that. You spoke so often about wanting a family, and your father wanted heirs. I thought if I gave you sons, no one would ask questions.”
“Did you use my sperm?”
“No.”
The answer came immediately.
“I never took anything from you. I went to the clinic alone. I used a donor profile they gave me.”
“Then how did Daniel’s sample get into your embryos?”
“I don’t know.”
