That was normal, harmless, and nobody would look at me twice.
My legs felt weak as I stood up.
I kept my eyes down until I was next to row 15, which was just behind me but on the other side.
I then turned slightly, as casually as I could.
And almost stumbled.
The woman in 15C was no longer a mystery.
She looked about thirty, maybe younger. Her dark blonde hair fell over one shoulder. She had one hand wrapped around a plastic cup of juice.
The other hand was resting on an unmistakable pregnancy bump.
For a second, I honestly thought the floor had tilted beneath me.
I moved on quickly, knowing that if I stayed in the same spot and kept staring, she would notice me.
Or maybe not, why should she?
If she was my husband’s mistress as I suspected, then maybe she knew who I was.
I made it to the bathroom and locked myself inside before I fell apart.
The crying came hard and ugly, the kind that steals your air and makes you press your fist to your mouth so nobody hears.
He had gotten another woman pregnant.
Unless there was some miraculous explanation that I had not yet come up with.
I stared at myself in the tiny mirror and barely recognized the woman looking back.
My lipstick was still perfect. My hair still curled. My red dress is still bright and beautiful.
I looked like someone dressed for a celebration who had wandered by mistake into a funeral.
I splashed water on my eyes and tried to think.
Maybe she wasn’t his.
Maybe there was some explanation that would not destroy every year of my marriage retroactively.
But underneath all those desperate little lies was something colder:
He had used the announcement system on a commercial flight to declare love for another woman.
On our wedding anniversary. The same one he couldn’t spend with me because he was scheduled for this flight.
Or maybe he didn’t want to spend the day with me so that he could be on this flight.
There was no confusion in his voice, just confidence.
That was a man who believed his wife was safely at home while he performed his new life in public.
I stayed in that bathroom until someone knocked.
“Ma’am? Are you all right in there?”
“Yes,” I lied.
