She should’ve told me. We could’ve figured it out together. I wouldn’t have been happy, but I wouldn’t have… God. She was sleeping in the guest room over this.
She should’ve told me.
I thought about the college fund. I thought about the years of birthday checks from grandparents, the automatic transfers, the little spreadsheet my wife kept updated on her laptop.
I thought about how she’d sat next to me on the porch two months ago and said, “Owen’s going to have options, Paul. Real options.”
I stood up. My hands were shaking, but not from anger. It was something worse.
I thought about the college fund.
It was that feeling I got as a kid when my dad came home, and my mom wouldn’t look at him across the table. That long dinner silence that ate up my whole childhood before anyone said the word divorce.
I couldn’t do that to my kids. I couldn’t sit at a table full of secrets for months.
I went back inside and grabbed my car keys.
“Where are you going?” Owen called from the hallway while holding a glass of juice.
I froze.
It was that feeling I got as a kid.
“Just a drive. I’ll be right back.”
I was in the car before I really thought about it. I told myself I was just going to clear my head. But by the time I was on the county road, the Bluetooth headset for my phone was already in my ears. My phone was next to me in the passenger seat.
I hadn’t promised Megan that I wouldn’t call Rachel.
I broke my silence before I hit the highway.
“I’ll be right back.”
Rachel picked up on the third ring.
“Hey, Paul? Everything okay?”
I tried to sound normal.
“Yeah. Hey. Weird question. Are you doing all right? Money-wise, I mean. If you needed help, you’d tell us, right?”
My sister-in-law laughed.
“What? Paul, I’m fine. Ben got that promotion in April. Why are you asking me about money?” she asked, laughing.
I tried to sound normal.
“Um, it’s just that Claire mentioned something. About you having some trouble.”
The laughter stopped.
“Paul, I’ve never asked Claire for a cent in my life. Is she okay? She was quiet all weekend at the spa. I figured she was just tired.”
I pulled the car over onto the shoulder. Gravel crunched under the tires. I could hear my own breathing in the closed cabin.
