“I know.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to pretend he didn’t hurt you.”
That was all.
It was enough.
“I love my son.”
***
Months passed.
Sean changed in small ways.
Maybe they would last.
Maybe they wouldn’t.
For once, I didn’t rush to decide.
James kept his distance.
Months passed.
Then, at a family cookout, he found me near the patio.
“How are you?”
“Better.”
He tilted his head.
“That wasn’t what I asked, Taylor.”
I smiled.
“How are you?”
“I’m getting there.”
Across the yard, Sean was watching us.
Months earlier, I would have measured my answer against his face.
This time, I didn’t.
James shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Would dinner still be a terrible idea?”
“I’m getting there.”
I looked at him.
“Ask me again when I’m actually single.”
He smiled.
“You know what? That sounds pretty fair.”
***
Later, Sean caught me near the car.
“I thought I wanted to feel like a man again.”
I waited.
“You know what?”
He glanced toward Atlas and Cody, who were laughing near the fence.
“I didn’t realize I was making you feel like less of a woman.”
For once, he wasn’t asking me to comfort him.
“Now you know,” I said.
I walked toward the boys.
“Now you know.”
Cody was accusing Atlas of cheating at a game neither of them could explain.
Atlas spotted me and called, “Mom, tell him he’s making up rules.”
“I’m staying out of it, boys. Call me when there’s ice cream involved.”
Both boys stared at me.
Then Cody laughed.
“I’m staying out of it, boys.”
Apparently, that answer was shocking enough to end the argument.
As we headed home, I thought about the night Sean called our life boring.
He had been wrong about one thing from the beginning.
My life had never been boring.
I’d simply spent too many years making it easy for everyone else to live in.
This time, I wasn’t going to disappear inside it again.
