He could be free.
Small things suddenly felt huge.
One evening, Sean walked into the kitchen.
“What’s for dinner?”
I opened the refrigerator.
“Leftovers.”
He stared at me.
“What’s for dinner?”
“What? You can find the microwave, right?”
For years, I had treated every empty space like mine to fill. Sean was beginning to notice when I stopped.
***
A few days later, we had dinner with his family.
His mother, Madeline, had invited us. She was warm without being nosy and remembered how everyone took their coffee.
Lucy was there.
“You can find the microwave, right?”
So was Sean’s older brother, James.
James had been divorced for a few years. He was quieter than Sean, and I’d always gotten along with him.
There had never been anything romantic between us.
Halfway through dinner, Madeline looked at Sean.
“You look tired.”
James had been divorced for a few years.
Sean smiled.
“Just been getting some fresh air lately.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. I’m breaking out of the old routine, Mom. It’s been great.”
I set down my fork.
“What does that mean?”
“Sean asked for an open marriage. That’s the fresh air he’s talking about.”
Silence settled over the table.
Lucy froze with her glass halfway to her mouth. I hadn’t told her any of it when we’d gone out for dinner.
Sean turned sharply.
“We agreed to it, Taylor.”
“Sean asked for an open marriage.”
“You asked. I agreed.”
“Not here.”
“Why not? You said it would bring our marriage back to life.”
Madeline looked at him.
“Is that true?”
“It’s complicated, Mom.”
“Is that true?”
“It really isn’t.”
Sean gave a short laugh.
“She hasn’t actually dated anyone.”
I looked at him.
“Yet.”
His smile vanished.
“It really isn’t.”
***
Later, I stepped outside for air.
James followed a minute later.
“Did you actually want this?” James asked.
“To see other people?”
He nodded.
“No.”
“Did you actually want this?”
James nodded.
“Does Sean know that?”
“He knows I agreed.”
“That wasn’t the question, Taylor.”
***
James came by a few days later with Atlas’s jacket.
“He left it in Mom’s car when she picked the boys up from school.”
“Does Sean know that?”
“Thanks.”
I took it from him, then heard myself say, “Coffee? I have fresh banana bread too.”
He hesitated.
“Sure.”
Over coffee, James looked down at his mug.
“Sean called me the night before he asked you.”
