Marissa took a shaky breath.
“Because of Daniel.”
I didn’t understand. Then I did, half a second before she said the rest.
“I hated myself.”
“Two years ago, I was cleaning an office building. Annie was waiting for me in the car. Your husband fell right by the entrance.”
I couldn’t breathe.
“Annie saw him first. She ran in and got me. I called 911, and we stayed with him until the ambulance came.”
“He asked us to tell his wife and his daughter that he loved them,” Annie added softly.
“The paramedics took over,” Marissa said. “I had another shift to get to. I never even learned his name.”
“He asked us to tell his wife and his daughter that he loved them.”
“It was dark, and I was so scared,” Annie said. “I only remember his hands. Last month, I saw his photo in Lily’s locker, and I knew. But we weren’t speaking anymore. I didn’t know how to tell her.”
“I didn’t know, Mom.” Lily was crying openly now. “We’d only been friends for a year. I never talked about how Dad died. I found out just a few days ago, when we had a fight and Annie finally told me.”
Daniel hadn’t died alone.
“I didn’t know, Mom.”
For two years, I’d lain awake picturing him on the pavement, scared and by himself. And all that time, a woman had been holding his hand, and a little girl had been sitting beside him.
I sank onto the bench. Lily sat down next to me.
“I couldn’t undo it,” she said. “So I made her a dress. I gave her the one thing I can never replace.” She wiped her face. “It’s not even close to enough.”
“It wasn’t enough,” Annie said gently. “After the concert, I told you a dress couldn’t erase what you did.”
“I gave her the one thing I can never replace.”
“I thought that meant it was over,” Lily whispered. “That I should just disappear.”
Nobody spoke.
The train had gone. A thin sun was rising over the tracks.
Then Annie slowly took off the blue cardigan and put it around Lily’s shoulders herself.
“It wasn’t enough.”
“This is yours,” she said.
“Annie…”
“Forgiving you doesn’t mean pretending it never happened. I’m still angry. I might be for a long time.” Her voice shook, but she held Lily’s eyes. “But I’ll give you a chance to make it right. I’ll see you at school.”
